‘Should have known better than to chuck things onto our property’: President of woman's neighborhood association throws wood panels over her fence without warning, woman tosses them right back and confronts her

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  • "We heard some clanging and looked out the window to see someone literally throwing two big wooden panels with hinges attached over our fence—into our yard."
  • "AITA for angrily tossing wood back over my fence after a neighbor put it there?"

    My husband and I [39M/39F] live in a historic section of Philadelphia in a Victorian home with a big backyard. Most of our neighbors are aging Boomers- former hippies-and the
  • neighborhood has a tight-knit, almost communal vibe. People help each other out, check in on each other, and generally keep tabs on what's going on. It's a
  • lovely place to live, but sometimes the downside is that people can be a little too involved, gossipy, and persnickety.
  • Behind our property, there's a lot with several garages that neighbors rent out to store things. Recently, people have been clearing out the garages
  • and organizing old scrap wood, doors, and other community event supplies. This morning, while my husband and I were having coffee in the kitchen, we
  • heard some clanging and looked out the window to see someone literally throwing two big wooden panels with hinges attached over
  • our fence-into our yard. We also noticed about six heavy wooden doors leaning against our fence, which we just had replaced last summer.
  • I was immediately annoyed, sol went outside and angrily tossed the panels back over the fence without saying a word. Just as I was finishing, I heard a woman on the other side say, "Oop-oh no- don't! Those panels are for Jenny. Is this Jenny's yard?"
  • I told her, "No, it's not. Jenny lives next door. And by the way, we don't want those doors leaning against our fence-we just had it replaced."
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  • She started to push back, like she had to put them there because there was no other option, but she caught herself, sighed, and dropped it. I didn't raise my voice, but I was clearly frustrated.
  • Here's where I'm second- guessing myself: This neighborhood is so tight-knit that word travels fast, and now I'm feeling a bit sheepish about how I handled the situation. Once I
  • realized she wasn't just dumping trash in our yard and had made a mistake, I felt like an a_h_le. I could have easily peeked over the fence and said, "Excuse me,
  • what's this wood doing in our yard?" Instead, I just reacted and threw it back in frustration without giving her a chance to explain.
  • On the flip side, I still think she should have asked us—or at least had Jenny give us a heads-up- before tossing stuff over the fence or propping heavy doors against something on our property. So... AITA?
  • TL;DR: Neighbor mistakenly threw wooden panels into our yard and leaned heavy doors against our new fence without asking. I got frustrated and tossed the panels back without talking to her first. Now I'm wondering if I overreacted or if she should've given us a heads- up. AITA?
  • Update: Turns out that the woman I tussled with was actually the president of the neighborhood association. Lol. She does do a lot for the community but also should have known better than to chuck things onto our property without checking first.
  • Nessferatu11 NTA. She should have double- checked first to make sure she was throwing it into the right yard. Leaning stuff against someone's private fence, even on the outside, is disrespectful of someone's property also. Sure,
  • maybe it won't cause that much damage long-term, its just the respect to ask someone before utilizing their property. Some people want to think because it seems like no big deal, it SHOULD be fine. But people shouldn't assume.
  • Beth_Duttonn NTA, they need to keep their things out of your yard and off your fence.
  • alicat777777 NTA. She didn't even know where Jenny lived and flung that over the fence? That was her mistake not yours. She could have asked if it was Jenny's yard before flinging over, possibly damaging your grass and landscaping.
  • CallingThatBS NTA if the community is so tight know how does she not know which house is Jenny....
  • FLCLHero If something comes over my fence and I'm there to see it, I'm throwing that thing right back

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